


Don't fall through the ropes

by purplefox



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 23:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17089928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: All Shinjiro and Akihiko have is each other. They are the only things stopping each other from falling apart.





	Don't fall through the ropes

Shinji was waiting for the days that were promised to them. He was waiting for when time would stop freezing for everything else and everyone could be normal again. He was waiting for the sun to shine for real for them. He was waiting and waiting because he could not take the way Aki was falling apart on him.

How were kids expected to be strong like this so long? How were kids not expected to fall apart? They had their own problems on top of this. Even though most of the others would rather bite their tongue and admit that they were scared Shinji had no such problem. He was terrified.

For Akihiko. For the rest of them. For humanity in general and he was terrified for himself. But Aki hurt the most because he was falling apart so slowly and people barely saw. They were not ignoring it exactly but they were allowing Akihiko to bullshit them.

He was sleeping less, training more. He was wild around the eyes. His moments at school were so messed up that Shinji was still trying to wrap his head around how Aki’s fans did not notice that their idol was falling apart right before their eyes.

The pressure was too much, the expectations too great and Shinji knew this. He knew this for himself and he knew Aki was falling apart because he was one the few people Akihiko did not mind being vulnerable in front of. He did not mind crying, he did not mind holding onto Shinji.

Hell he had always been a demanding idiot even back then but this was different now. Aki needed and Shinji needed what they had too. They needed to know they were still alive. They needed that but it was more than knowing the other person was alive. They needed to know they were still them.

The things they saw and did were changing them. Changing what they stood for and what they believed in. he needed to know that he was still the Shinjiro that he had wanted to be and not some doll going through the motions. That was why he understood Aki’s need and he understood why Aki came to him the way he did.

He really got it. It made sense. Because he was doing it too. He was asking himself stuff. He was checking his love and devotion to Akihiko. He was glaring at himself in the mirror because he did not want to miss the moment a monster started to form.

He was the sounding board for the others, he was listening to them and taking care of their needs. He had to do that. It was not that he cared. He did, he always cared but he needed to know that he was not slipping away in more ways than one.

That the stress was not getting to him and that he was becoming numb. That was not something that he wanted. At the end of this he needed to be okay. He needed Akihiko to be okay at the end of this and he needed them to walk away alive and whole.

Alive, whole and sane.

They had made more progress these last few months than they had during the years he had been on this crap. His own failures he could still taste. He woke Aki with his nightmares but that was okay.

Akihiko woke him with his own nightmares too. He would lurch up out of bed shaking. He would touch Shinjiro all over to make certain he was okay. Shinji got it. Aki was scared and he was too.

They seemed okay but this was a heavy burden for kids to take. Who knew how they were going to walk away when all this was over. If it could even be over for them. They dreamt of shadows, they dreamt of mistakes and lost loved ones. How exactly could they be normal after this?

As it was who knew what their bodies were going to be like and how long they would be able to hold out after this? Shinji was concerned about his own health but it was hard to focus on that when night after night they had the dark hour to worry about.

Until that job was done he could not rest. None of them could. They had to keep hobbling along no matter the cost or what they felt. Or how they feared. They had to keep going and it was taking a toll on them all.

It was why he got what Akihiko was going through. It made it easy to keep his door open. It made it easy to accept the Aki that sought him out. It was easy to come up with the excuses.

It was easy to ditch class and pull Aki with him. It was easy to pull Aki aside in the gym and just hold him until his body relaxed and he trembled. It was easy to pull him aside in town. Take him to the quiet park and kiss him until Shinji saw that nothing but desire was in his eyes.

It was easy to look out for Akihiko and make him forget. Way too easy to lend a hand.

Not that Shinji forgot about himself and his own trials. It was just easy to focus on the boy he loved and not the absolute shit show that were their lives. It was easy to just ignore everyone and focus on Aki. Way too easy in fact. it was just so simple so he just kept doing.

Easy not to give a fuck and grab Akihiko’s hand when they all returned to the dorms. Easy to ignore the stares when he took Akihiko into his room.

Easy not to blink when the adults stared at their held hands. Easy to ignore the questioning looks from the team when they caught him and Akihiko having a private moment. It was easy to cover it up so no one but him saw the way that Akihiko was falling apart.

And in Aki’s case it was easy for him to be the support Shinji had not even noticed that he was missing. Every fumble, every cough or wheeze Aki was there. Every library excursion Aki was there. They were repeating the same words to each other and they were going to make them true. They would make it out of this and make it out alive.

X

“Kiss me.” Akihiko demanded before he crushed his lips to Shinji anyway. Shinji sank his fingers into Aki’s hair as he allowed himself to be pressed against the wall. This spoiled muscle idiot that he loved so much. Not a sign of the senpai that he liked to be to others.

Which was good. As amusing as the senpai that Akihiko liked to be, Shinji found the raw Aki much more fun. The one that would play with him. The one that would be a complete idiot when the time came. The one that was not shy about what he wanted, the unashamed Aki not letting anyone stop him from getting what he needed.

And what he needed was Shinji and his touch. He needed his kiss and he needed to know they were alive and that this was real. He could do that. He was happy to do that.

“Right here?” He managed to ask when he broke off the kiss. He was feeling flushed. Aki had his arms braced on both sides. He had allowed Shinji to break the kiss but he was latched onto Shinji’s neck now. “Seriously Aki? You’re going to go full stupid here?”

“You like when I go full stupid.” Was mumbled against his throat. “I hate the stairs.”

“I like looking Kohais in the eye.” Shinji groaned. “Come on. Just a few more minutes.” He hissed.

He knew why Aki was so wound up. It was hard not to. It had been another hard night. Another rough time and their nerves were frayed. Akihiko used to spend his time in the ring or the gym after a hard night.

But not now. Now neither of them wanted to be alone. They could not afford to. So the nights afterwards they spent together. whether talking quietly, just sleeping or more they stayed together.

Some nights they were so tired physically and mentally it was all they could do to fall into bed together. other nights kept them up in more ways than one.

Other nights had them so wound up that by the time they made it to the dorms their clothes were ripped off and they had to have each other.

It kept the shadows and uncertainty at bay for just a while longer. They held it together for another night and that was what was important in the long run for both of them.

They just needed to hold on for a while longer. They were getting somewhere, they were making progress.

“Come on.” Shinji gasped before he held Aki off from making progress. “Let’s go to your room. My room whichever one before someone walks in on us again.” He grabbed Aki’s hand and began to drag him up the staircase.

X

“I’ve got you.” Akihiko whispered as he knelt in front of him. Shinjiro smiled as he reached to stroke his hair. Another night of more fighting. Another night of small but actual progress. They were coming to the end. They had to be, they just had to hold out a little more. “Lift your leg.” Aki said softly.

“How bad is it?” He asked the moment that Akihiko shoved his pants leg up. “Hospital?”

“No.” Akihiko shook his head. “You can get away with some ice and rest.” He made a disgruntled fact at the last word. “As much rest as you can possibly get right now with the shadows so rough and restless.”

“I’ll do what I can.” Shinji whispered as Akihiko began to apply ointment. “I’m glad you’re okay too.”

“I’m glad I was able to catch you.” Akihiko smiled. “I really did not think those stairs were going to do that. Guess that shows us how far we’ve come.”

“We’re almost at the end.” Shinji watched Akihiko pull down his pants leg before he began to wipe Shinji’s right arm with antiseptic. “That burns.”

“That happens when you have a bruise.” Aki said dryly as he began to bandage the hand. “How’s your chest?”

“Why don’t you take a listen?” Shinjiro said as he sat back on the couch. He opened his arms in invitation and chuckled at Aki’s eye roll. “Come on up Mr. Nurse.”

“Keep making fun of me.” Aki faint threatened as he moved up so he could sit next to Shinji. He carefully leaned forward his hand on Shinji’s shoulder as he pressed his ear against Shinji’s chest. “Hm, sounds good.” He murmured. “Sounds strong.”

“It should sound strong.” Shinjiro muttered as he rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. “Right now that’s beating for you. You know that? Right now that’s all yours. Me, my heart. Everything I have is for you.”

“That sounds like marriage.” Aki snickered as he pulled away and met his gaze. “But we’ve already sworn ourselves to each other so what more do we need?”

“Legal documentation.” Shinji said to shock Aki. He delighted in Aki’s open mouth and the shock in his eyes. “Some rings would be nice too.”

“Okay we can handle the rings.” Aki said slowly. “But are you serious about the- the documentation?” He finished in a higher tone. “Are you serious Shinji?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Shinji pointed out. “You said it yourself. We’ve sworn ourselves to each other. Back as kids we made a blood oath remember? Now its an oath with a different meaning. All we need is papers so others know.”

For the first time in a long time Shinji got to watch peace and happiness spread across Aki’s face in a rush. “That’s so like you Shinji.” He said softly. “You’re so sweet, you’re so good to me. I’m seriously in love with you.”

Shinji used the thumb he had sliced all those years ago with Aki to capture Aki’s rub them together and smile. “I know. I love you seriously too. No matter how airheaded you can be.”

“But you’re serious about that documentation.” Aki laughed. “Maybe we should make it our reward after we are finished with all of this. I mean, you’re already mine everyway but legally.”

“Exactly.” Shinji smiled. “And we should tell the princess.” He felt calm spread across himself with their talk. He and Akihiko, no matter what they would make it through this. Together and as people that would survive this thing.


End file.
